What are the symptoms of low self esteem?

Those suffering from eating disorders are often keen to hide their problem from others, but it is not so easy to hide the symptoms of poor self image and depression.

If you think that someone you care about may be suffering from an eating disorder, there are some signs that you can look for. These are some of the most common symptoms of low self esteem:

Apologizing a lot. People with low self esteem are always apologizing. Deep down they feel guilty about a lot of things. They may or may not be aware of this, but it is fairly easy for other people to spot as they are always saying sorry when they haven't done anything wrong.

Seeming aloof or distant. Those with low self esteem desperately want to be close to others but their lack of belief in themselves stops them from being able to. Their fear of being disliked or rejected makes them keep a distance, but this can often be interpreted as unfriendliness. Remember, nobody wants to be alone!

An inability to accept compliments. We all find it difficult to accept things we don't believe to be true. We tend to gravitate towards those who hold similar values and opinions to those of our own, and away from those who don't. For example, if I think the world is wonderful, I'll find it difficult to relate to someone who thinks it's awful.Knowing what we believe grounds us from day to day. It helps us to know where we are going. That's why we find it hard to be contradicted.For the person with low self esteem, there is a strange kind of 'safety' involved with his or her self perception. A compliment is actually scary because it is a challenge to the opinion she has formed of herself and the image she projects to the world.She feels, in a way, as though she is fooling others, or that the compliment can't be true. There is also the fear that she won't be able to live up to the compliment. There are lots of mixed up feelings involved with low self esteem!

One of the main symptoms of low self esteem is a lack of eye contact. For those who don't like themselves much, looking other people in the eye is difficult. Avoiding eye contact is also a way of avoiding intimate contact with others, keeping the possibility of rejection at bay.

Attention seeking. We all like attention from other people. It's a normal and necessary part of life. Those with low self esteem don't believe they are interesting so they sometimes try to be the center of attention. This may seem to be the opposite of shyness, but it's actually the same thing.Being the center of attention isn't about having close, real contact with others. It's about receiving attention that doesn't involve any level of trust.Many famous people have been adored by their fans, but deeply unhappy due to the lack of close and loving relationships.

What can you do if someone you know has low self esteem?

Encourage your friend to talk. There may be problems at home, or something else on her mind that is at the root of her low self esteem.

Consistently and sincerely communicate to your friend the things you like about her. For example, 'you're great fun to be with and I love spending time with you.'

If she has problems accepting compliments, point this out. Gently tell her that she needs to know that even if she doesn't like herself very much other people do and that it's unfair of her not to accept that. You can even tell her that you think she is suffering from symptoms of low self esteem.

Let her know that you are there for her and want to help her but that you find it hurtful when she doesn't believe that you see her in a positive way.

Encourage her to do new things. Maybe join a club or begin a new hobby together. This could be a sport or scrap booking, anything which is positive and fun.

Above all, just be a friend!